Part of me doesn't want to write this blog post. I just want to curl up in bed. Another part of me knows that I will regret not posting and that doing nothing will only make me feel mopey.
I was not as busy today as I thought I would be, because my Linear Algebra textbook has a non-linear scale of difficulty. It gets easier the further you go. So I worked really hard for two days and did a fraction of the work, then finished up the rest in about an hour this morning. If I was really dedicated, I would have started the next assignment, but even I am not that keen on Maths.
That left me with time. I'm really bad at long stretches of time. I don't think of all the things I need to do; I just sit around and mope. I actually did quite a few things today, but not enough to keep myself busy. Now that it's late and I should really get to bed, I can think of a pile of things that it would have been really good to get done.
So I have come up with a theory. It's a very, very cracked theory, but I don't think it's entirely untrue. My theory is that the part of my brain that handles organisation only works when I'm busy with something else. While the front part of my brain is proving that the commutative law of multiplication is invalid in matrices, the back of my mind is busily working out a list of things I need to do and the best times to do them. Failing that, it will analyse the literary strengths and weaknesses of the book I read last week or come up with some commentary about the jazz playing next door. The back of my mind does all sorts of things that I really like being able to do. The problem is, it only does it for as long as the front of my mind is busy wih something else. The front of my mind is pretty useless for doing the things the back of my mind does.
On a day like today, the front of my mind isn't occupied by default. Any concept of actually thinking goes out the window, until I have to arrange things like how I'm going to get to my scout meeting and write a blog post and get to bed early (solution: change the definiion of early). As soon as the front of my mind is busy with that, the back switches on and I think of all the things I should have done today. It could make me even mopier. I won't let it, though! I may have to become a workaholic, but that's better than being a mope-aholic, right? At least a little bit better.